Ingredients

2 c. butter, cut into 1/2" pieces, softened

3/4 c. powdered sugar

4 eggs, beaten

1 1/4 tsp. kosher salt

4 1/2 c. all-purpose flour

1 lb. strawberries, quartered

3/4 c. granulated sugar

2 large Granny Smith apples, peeled and grated, peels reserved

Juice of 1 lemon, halves reserved

2 tbsp. cornstarch

1/4 tsp. kosher salt

2 c. powdered sugar

1 tbsp. light corn syrup

1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

2 tbsp. milk

Colorful sprinkles

Preparation

Step 1In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and salt beat until incorporated. Gradually add flour and mix until dough forms. Divide dough into two large pieces. Roll each piece between two pieces of parchment paper into a rectangle the size of your half sheet pan. Refrigerate at least 1 hour while you make the filling.Step 2Preheat oven to 350°. Peel parchment off of one piece of dough and place in baking sheet, parchment paper side-down. Spread cooled filling into center of dough.Step 3Peel parchment off second piece of dough and place over filling, parchment paper side-up. Peel back top parchment and quickly press the two sheets of dough together. Prick pop-tart all over with a skewer. Refrigerate for 15 to 30 minutes while you make icing.Step 4Pour icing over top of pop-tart and spread with an offset spatula. Garnish with sprinkles. Bake until pastry is just barely golden, about 35 minutes. Let cool to room temperature before serving.

Step 1Meanwhile, make filling: In a large pot over medium-high heat, combine strawberries, sugar, apples, and lemon juice and bring to boil. Cut a large square of cheesecloth and place apple peels and squeeze lemons in center. Step 2Pull edges towards middle and tie with kitchen twine. Add to strawberry mixture. Cook at a steady simmer, mashing the fruit with a potato masher, until strawberries have broken down almost completely, about 15 minutes, then stir in cornstarch.   Step 3 Use an immersion blender to blend until completely smooth. Divide between two large bowls and set over ice baths to cool completely.

Step 1In a medium bowl, whisk together all icing ingredients until smooth, adding more milk or more sugar to adjust consistency if necessary.

The strawberry filling was a considerable feat as well. The packaged stuff includes wacky stuff like dried apples and pears and multiple forms of sweeteners. I simplified it big time by making a basic strawberry jam with granulated sugar, not high fructose corn syrup or dextrose. I did throw in some shredded apples for tartness and pectin (thickening power) though. Sprinkles were easier. In a resealable plastic bag, combine pink, red, green, and yellow jimmies and use a rolling pin to smash them into chalkier pieces. (Look closely, you’ll notice that a pop-tart’s sprinkles are pretty dusty.) Start to finish, this giant slab takes a lot of time and effort. It is, however, one of the prettiest things you’ll ever make. And anyone who grew up in the 80’s or 90’s will lose their minds over it.